Redemption
by XxRayannaxX
Summary: She'll do anything to be with him. The moment Amelia Hart laid eyes on Detective Hoffman she knew she wanted to be in his arms forever. But what happens when she gets too close to the truth?
1. Totally Typical

Chapter one: Totally typical

There he was, sitting at his desk with a superior look on his face, when I walked in. At first he didn't see me, too busy staring out the window, no doubt recalling some whore he picked up at the local bar he frequents every night. Although it was no secret that Detective Hoffman had developed a major drinking problem after the death of his sister, I had hoped that he would stop the self-destructive behavior. Judging by the self-satisfied look on his face, one can only assume that whatever he was doing, or whoever, it had been one hell of a night.

"Do you need something Amelia?"

"Sorry Sir, I just wanted to remind you that Special Agent Erikson will be by in about an hour."

"Why?"

"I assume it's to discuss Special Agent Strahms disappearance."

"Oh, right, thank you, is that all?"

"Yes…..well no, how was your night last night."

He froze for a second and glared at me. If looks could kill I would definitely be dead right now. _How do I back peddle out of this one? _We had an awkward talk not too long ago about keeping business and personal things after what seemed like a lifetime he regained composure, smiled smugly and said, "Why do you ask?"

"I'm sorry, I was just curious, you seem to be in a good mood today, so I thought I'd ask."

"Curiosity killed the cat, and stop saying you're sorry, you know I hate that."

"Yes sir, sorry sir….shit, sorry, ok I'm going."

As I left and seriously considered crawling under my desk, I heard him laugh. It was so genuine and sincere, completely uninhibited, and it made me feel a little less silly. _Hey at least I got him to laugh, that's got to count for something. _

I've been working as a secretary for Detective Hoffman for roughly six months. He's unorganized, arrogant, self-absorbed and has a total disregard for women. Knowing all of this, I still managed to fall hopelessly in love with him. The attraction to him was instant and overwhelming. From the moment I met him I knew I needed him. For six months I have tried to get his attention, but it's hard to "work it" in office attire. I mean how many buttons on your blouse can you leave unbuttoned without drawing negative attention from every guy in a ten mile radius, and how short can you wear your skirt without other men in the office "accidentally" dropping things and asking you to pick them up. The worst part is while I was discovering all this, _he_ never noticed. He's always tied up with other things, the first two weeks I was here he barely acknowledged my existence. After a month I decided I couldn't do my job anymore, as mundane as it is, I was so busy trying to get some kind of positive notice from Hoffman that I couldn't focus. So I put in for a transfer to a different office. After that the weirdest thing happened. He started to take more of an interest in my job and the work I do. After two weeks of this "change" I was called into his office. I remember I was so nervous when I went in there…..

"Miss Hart could you please come in here?" _Ah, what did I do? Hey maybe he's going to ask me out, ha, I sound so delusional. Okay, just breathe, head up, shoulders back…..hair down? Oh whatever, here it goes._

"Yes sir, do you need something?"

"Actually, I want to talk to you about a few things."

"Ok? Something wrong?"

"No, not at all, actually I want to apologize for my coldness this past month. I got word that you wanted to be transferred and I'm not happy about it."

"I'm so sorry, I just thought I might be more useful somewhere else."

"Firstly, you are very useful right where you are. I see you as loyal and trustworthy. Two qualities I find to be very rare especially in people your age. You are great with the press, no leaks, no mistakes and I feel like an ass for not giving you more appreciation. I promise if you stay working for me I will be as nice as I can be."

_Don't strain yourself! _"I'd be happy to stay, and I don't expect special treatment, I'm just your secretary."

"See that's something I like about you, at least you know your place."

_This sucks, I don't want to be just your secretary, you arrogant ass! _"Yes thank you, and at least I know if for some reason I forget _my place_ I'm sure you'll find a way to remind me." _Oh no, please, I didn't say that out loud did I? _"Sir I am so sorry, I don't know why I said that. I'm sorry."

He paused, probably deciding whether or not to fire me, then sternly said, "It's fine, oh and I noticed you say you're sorry way too much, it's very unattractive. Have more confidence in what you say, right or wrong."

"Yes sir, thank you, I'll work on that."

Well he's continued to be "as nice as he can be," so that's a good thing. I've tried to curb the use of the word sorry to a minimum but that word seems to be imbedded in my vocabulary.

Also he very recently made his feelings for me very clear, (basically he has none) mainly because I made an ass out of myself. Okay, here's what happened . After fantasizing about him for what seemed like forever I took it upon myself one night to go out to the bar he frequents…

"A little more makeup, a little less clothing," I said making a last minute adjustment to my already too low cut shirt. _If this doesn't work I don't know what will._

It didn't take me long to find him. Unfortunately when I did there was some woman on his lap. I thought about what to say, maybe something like, "Hey is there room for one more" or "threesome?" Sadly by the time I got the nerve to walk up to the bar they were gone. So feeling a little defeated I ordered a drink. After my fourth shot of JD I heard a familiar voice, after my fifth I realized the voice was talking to me.

"What the hell are youdoing here?" Okay at this point I'm a little blasted and feeling ballsy so I say, "Free Country, I'll drink wherever the fuck I want." He just stared at me so I took that as an opportune time to continue.

"What the hell are _you _doing here, and why aren't you as wasted as I am?"

"Ok, Miss Hart I really think you should take a cab and go home before you do something stupid."

"Only if you come home with me."

"I can't take you home tonight, I have plans."

"With who? That slut that was on your lap?"

"Maybe, not your concern, you are my secretary, not my wife or mother."

"But I want to be!"

"My Mother?"

"No you asshole, your girlfriend!"

"Miss…"

"Amelia, just Amelia!"

"Ok… Amelia. Listen, I'm not interested in a girlfriend, I don't have time, and even if I did, you are a good girl and you deserve a good guy, that's not me."

"I think you're wonderful, good or bad, I'd still love you, no matter what." I looked right at him when I said it, and put my hand on his cheek. He froze, shut his eyes, then walked away without saying a word. I just sat there. It's funny how quickly you sober up when you get shut down.

The following Monday I thought about possibly calling out sick just to avoid him. I really wasn't in the mood to rehash my embarrassing behavior Friday night. But I went and to my surprise he said nothing. Nothing as in not a word to me, about anything! He ignored me. Well as time went on he slowly began to speak to me again which brings me to this mornings' slip up about how his night went. _Well at least he laughed!_


	2. The Past

Chapter two: The past

At exactly 10 a.m. in walks Detective Erikson. He did not look happy, but I guess I'd be pissed if one of my agents was rumored to be Jigsaw's accomplice.

"Amelia."

"Good morning Agent Erikson, go ahead in, he's been expecting you."

"Thank you."

I watched Hoffman greet him with that professional smile and knew by Erikson's mood they'd be tied up for most of the day. So I ran a few errands, finished up some paperwork, basically messed around, still preoccupied by this morning's conversation with Hoffman. He seems different. I can't quite put my finger on it but ever since that night at the bar I get the feeling that something has changed in him.

At 12:30 I decided to go to lunch. I decided before I left that I'd ask "the boys" if they wanted anything, but to my surprise, after knocking several times, I opened the door to find an empty office. _Oh well, they probably went to lunch themselves. _Then before I could turn to leave I felt a strong hand clamp down on my shoulder and turn me around. When I looked into those piercing blue eyes I could feel the heat surge between us. It was an intense feeling that was ruined the instant he opened his mouth.

"What the hell are you doing in my office?"

"Hey, you didn't have to grab me so hard." _At least not at the office!_

"Amelia, you know I don't like people in my office when I'm not here!"

"I know I'm sorry, I was just about to go to lunch and I was gonna see if you wanted anything."

"Did you knock first?"

"Yes, of course, but when .."

"Did I answer?"

"Well no, but…"

"Then you shouldn't have gone in."

"I know, I just wasn't thinking."

"Obviously not, now go take your lunch break."

I don't think I have ever been so angry in my life. He was the only man I've ever met who can piss me off _and _turn me on at the same time. While at lunch I had a revelation. _Obviously _there is no way to get through to him. It seems like everything I do is wrong. So in an attempt to salvage what's left of my heart, job, and dignity, the only option remaining is to completely and totally fall out of love with him. I have never been in love before, never been with a man, never felt anything for anyone. But from the moment I met him I felt this spark between us. He opened my heart and my soul to the possibility of a fresh start. I know it sounds corny but he saved me, literally. It all started a year ago. When John Kramer had been officially labeled Jigsaw by the press the city got scared. Crime was up and people were afraid to leave their houses. I was living with my brother, Brian Hart. He was my hero and best friend. After our parents had died he took care of me. He finished high school that same year and made sure to work extra jobs to pay the bills for the house. After that I became closed off, distant. I couldn't wrap my twelve year old logic around their accidental passing. My high school years are a blur, they came and went, and still I felt nothing. It wasn't until the night I met Detective Hoffman that everything changed for better and worse. The saddest part is that it took yet another tragedy to shock me back into reality.

It happened a little over a year ago. I working late at the bar when my brother called. I didn't answer my cell, we weren't supposed to take personal calls so I let it hit the voice mail. "Hey Meils, listen Becca's coming over, she had a fight with her boyfriend and she's a little shaken up. Do you think you could bring a twelve pack home, it's gonna be a long night. Ha I know what you're thinking, don't worry I'll be good, love you, bye." Rebecca Killian, longtime friend of both me and my brother. She and her family helped us out from time to time. I can't tell you how many times that woman had come to our house in the middle of the night seeking sanctuary from her abusive/loser boyfriend, and that night I thought would be the same.

I got done late, it was summer and Friday was our busiest night. After pulling to the side several times to let the police and ambulance pass I realized that they were all headed the same place I was. Thinking nothing of it I continued down the old familiar streets towards our house. There they were. Every cop car and ambulance in the state parked at our house. I sat there for a minute taking it all in, the lights, the cameras, neighbors standing outside on the lawns in their robes and slippers. I got out of the car and approached my house calmly at first. I managed to maneuver my way past the cops and into the house. There they were. My chest tightened, breathing stopped, my heart broke. There on the floor in the living room were Brian and Rebecca's mutilated lifeless bodies. It was then reality came crashing down. I freaked out, starting screaming and before I could reach them I was grabbed by an officer.

"Hey lady! How did you get in here, no press!"

"This is MY HOUSE!" But he wouldn't let go. He kept pulling me towards the door. There was nothing I could do. I screamed, cried, and finally collapsed in shock. When I came to I was in the arms of the most beautiful man I'd ever seen. When he spoke his voice was filled with such tenderness.

"It's ok, you're safe. I'm going to let the EMT's check you out and then if you're up for it we need to take you to the station for some questions."

"Who are you?" My voice sounded like that of a child's, it was barely audible.

"I'm Detective Hoffman, but you can call me Mark."

"I've read about you in the paper, you're heading up the Jigsaw investigation, is that who did this?"

"I don't think so, but the local police asked me to check it out just in case." I started to cry again, not hysterically like before, I just held him tighter and wept. When he set me down in the ambulance I was almost unable to let go.

"Please don't leave me." There was a moment that passed between us when I looked him in the eyes and asked him to stay.

"It's going to be ok Miss Hart. I'll come back and get you when their done looking you over, ok?"

"Ok, and you can call me Amelia."

"Ok Amelia, I'll be right back." After he left I felt broken again. My mind went back to the horrific scene I had just encountered. I started to shake, tears flowing down my cheeks, I felt like I was going to be sick. I blacked out again. When I woke up it was morning and I was in an unfamiliar place. A hospital bed. Apparently after blacking out for the second time I was so distraught they felt the need to sedate me. It wasn't a dream, it was real. With a knock on the door in came two detectives. Neither one was him.

"Miss if it's ok we'd like to ask you couple questions about your whereabouts last night."

"I was at work. Where is Mark?"

"Who?"

"Sorry, Detective Hoffman."

"Miss, he was only brought in to make sure this wasn't a Jigsaw case and it's been ruled a homicide so we've been assigned the case. I'm Detective Andrews and this is my partner Detective Becker."

"Oh, well I was at work until midnight. My brother called and…and…" It all became too much. I couldn't find the words to finish.

"We know this is hard for you but please if you can, what did your brother say when he called?"

"I-I can't remember exactly, I let it go to voicemail. If you can find my phone it's still on there."

"Ok Miss, we'll need to verify your alibi. Do you have anyone we can call for you?"

"No I…I have no one now." That did it. Pushed me over the edge again. The reality was that the one person I loved was gone. I was alone. All the things I should have said to him instead I pushed him away, I was cold, unfeeling and now it was too late. Bile rose in my throat, I heard screaming, I didn't realize it was me until the nurse's came in the room, then everything went dark.


End file.
